I'm having a good belly laugh at my historical self's blogging ambition. Hah!
Well, there are of course some new projects on the needles at the mo', and I'm not in a shape to post pictures until the weekend.
They are: a hat, another hat, a third hat, a scarf that I promised to have done for someone by the Monday after Thanksgiving 2009, and a cotton washcloth.
I'll post some pics this weekend. Hang in suspense, dear reader. Will they look good? Will they be ugly? Only time will tell!
muh-wah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!!!
23 March 2010
23 November 2009
Wow!
I'm beginning to think that Natalie Dee and I were separated at birth!
My evidence?
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
And let's not forget the most damning piece of evidence to you naysayers out there... Exhibit D! (Also, E, F, and G.) {Also, this is funny.}
Anyhoo, Here's what's on the needles and what's coming up!
A poncho for my neighbor's baby*
A blanket for my neighbor's couch
A blanket for me!
Here we see The Crazy Blanket creeping up behind the unsuspecting neighbor's afghan.
I'm calling it "The Crazy Blanket". Why? Well, I bought the yarn over a year ago, for a pattern which shall remain nameless cough*LionBrand6-HourAfghanfreepattern*cough and failed miserably on nearly all counts: I could not for the life of me get all the strands of yarn to wind tangle-free into one giant ball; CO was a beeyotch; and I found the Speed Stix to be cumbersome, flimsy, and not nearly long enough for the required CO. Seriously, Lion Brand? You're going to make size 50 needles for novelty projects and make them 14"? Really? That's what you're going to do? Okay, fine.**
Secondly, this blanket has no pattern. Imagine, if you will, a really cheesy infomercial:
Midwestern Blonde: Oops! I doubled a stitch by accident!
Baritone Announcer: That's no problem with The Crazy Blanket!
Metropolitan Readhead: Oh no! I ran out of yarn in the middle of a row!
BA: That's no problem with the Crazy Blanket!
Skeletor, The Evil Lord of Destruction***: Oh darn, I got my 4th metacarpal caught again!
BA: That's no problem with the Crazy Blanket!
Also, knitting this will keep me sane. It's a super-good, truly mindless knitting project for the times that I am sleepy or watching TV or distracted by the girl, OR - as may happen now and then - all three at once! And, I'll have a nice, warm, washable blanket when I'm done!
=============================================
* I can still call her a baby, even if she is two, because that's what mommies do. I've known her since she was a fetus, so there! pbbbttthhhhtt
**Which is kinda cool, because at least I can recycle them into a bitchin'! decoration for my planned crafty space, like spraypaint them gold or something and mount them on a canvas with some yarn? Yeah!!
*** Bet'cha didn't know his full title before now!
My evidence?
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
And let's not forget the most damning piece of evidence to you naysayers out there... Exhibit D! (Also, E, F, and G.) {Also, this is funny.}
Anyhoo, Here's what's on the needles and what's coming up!
A poncho for my neighbor's baby*
A blanket for my neighbor's couch
A blanket for me!
I'm calling it "The Crazy Blanket". Why? Well, I bought the yarn over a year ago, for a pattern which shall remain nameless cough*LionBrand6-HourAfghanfreepattern*cough and failed miserably on nearly all counts: I could not for the life of me get all the strands of yarn to wind tangle-free into one giant ball; CO was a beeyotch; and I found the Speed Stix to be cumbersome, flimsy, and not nearly long enough for the required CO. Seriously, Lion Brand? You're going to make size 50 needles for novelty projects and make them 14"? Really? That's what you're going to do? Okay, fine.**
Secondly, this blanket has no pattern. Imagine, if you will, a really cheesy infomercial:
Midwestern Blonde: Oops! I doubled a stitch by accident!
Baritone Announcer: That's no problem with The Crazy Blanket!
Metropolitan Readhead: Oh no! I ran out of yarn in the middle of a row!
BA: That's no problem with the Crazy Blanket!
Skeletor, The Evil Lord of Destruction***: Oh darn, I got my 4th metacarpal caught again!
BA: That's no problem with the Crazy Blanket!
Also, knitting this will keep me sane. It's a super-good, truly mindless knitting project for the times that I am sleepy or watching TV or distracted by the girl, OR - as may happen now and then - all three at once! And, I'll have a nice, warm, washable blanket when I'm done!
=============================================
* I can still call her a baby, even if she is two, because that's what mommies do. I've known her since she was a fetus, so there! pbbbttthhhhtt
**Which is kinda cool, because at least I can recycle them into a bitchin'! decoration for my planned crafty space, like spraypaint them gold or something and mount them on a canvas with some yarn? Yeah!!
*** Bet'cha didn't know his full title before now!
02 July 2009
Time flies when you're working and being a parent...
Hee! Let's pretend that time has not flown, and that it's still December, shall we? No? No time machine? Okay.
Well, I haven't really knit much in 2009, but I picked it back up a couple of weeks ago and now my current projects are: a cotton washcloth in a 6x9 basketweave pattern, a cotton jumper for the girl, and teaching some newbies how to knit during the lunch hour at work. It's pretty awesome to see new people knitting, and feels a bit like I'm creating my own army of knitters! Go forth and knit!
Well, I haven't really knit much in 2009, but I picked it back up a couple of weeks ago and now my current projects are: a cotton washcloth in a 6x9 basketweave pattern, a cotton jumper for the girl, and teaching some newbies how to knit during the lunch hour at work. It's pretty awesome to see new people knitting, and feels a bit like I'm creating my own army of knitters! Go forth and knit!
18 December 2008
Yikes!!
Where has the time gone? I was supposed to be knitting, blogging, and knitting some more. Apparently Thanksgiving got me off-track, but I think I'm getting back on the horse (thank you for ignoring the mixed metaphors.)
In progress at the moment are two scarves, a cosmetic bag, and a washcloth. Upcoming projects are a shawl, more scarves, a shrug, more washcloths, and some hats.
I'll let you know how it goes...
In progress at the moment are two scarves, a cosmetic bag, and a washcloth. Upcoming projects are a shawl, more scarves, a shrug, more washcloths, and some hats.
I'll let you know how it goes...
25 November 2008
Things I am afraid of
No, this does not involve spiders, advanced mathematics, or axe murderers. This involves complex, beautiful, scary knitting techniques.
Cabling, for instance. Very, very, very beautiful. But deadly. Did you know that a single cable can take up to three years off of your life? It's no joke. Experts recommend that you cable with a friend or companion, in order to spread the frustration around.
Intarsia is also a bit daunting. I've heard tales about people who have lost fingers and family members while working on intarsia pieces. Be sure that you take your doctor-prescribed anti-depressant before you begin any intarsia project, and have the paramedics on speed-dial.
For blocking, garlic and a crucifix are required equipment. Something about pinning a scalloped edge brings out the undead like nothing else (except nuclear rain). You'll need to defend yourself and your project at the same time, so make sure you eat a good breakfast.
Felting requires no less than three people. Safety goggles and hard hats are to be used by everyone. Worst-case scenario, you'll be ready to do yourself in after your piece shrinks by twice the amount you were expecting. One of your friends will need to keep you away from the nearest canyon while the other pours you a drink.
You can have fun, but remember: Friends don't let friends knit drunk.
Cabling, for instance. Very, very, very beautiful. But deadly. Did you know that a single cable can take up to three years off of your life? It's no joke. Experts recommend that you cable with a friend or companion, in order to spread the frustration around.
Intarsia is also a bit daunting. I've heard tales about people who have lost fingers and family members while working on intarsia pieces. Be sure that you take your doctor-prescribed anti-depressant before you begin any intarsia project, and have the paramedics on speed-dial.
For blocking, garlic and a crucifix are required equipment. Something about pinning a scalloped edge brings out the undead like nothing else (except nuclear rain). You'll need to defend yourself and your project at the same time, so make sure you eat a good breakfast.
Felting requires no less than three people. Safety goggles and hard hats are to be used by everyone. Worst-case scenario, you'll be ready to do yourself in after your piece shrinks by twice the amount you were expecting. One of your friends will need to keep you away from the nearest canyon while the other pours you a drink.
You can have fun, but remember: Friends don't let friends knit drunk.
17 November 2008
Robots Can't Knit
Knitting is impressive. I wouldn't call my own knitting impressive, stuck as I am in the land of scarves and hats, but it seems to impress others. Perhaps it is a dying art? In 200 years, will the apes still knit? Or will they have their human slaves do it for them? If robots and AI take over, I don't think they would be able to knit.
In fact, I'd be so bold as to say that robots can't knit. And I've made an illustration to pro
ve it.
In fact, I'd be so bold as to say that robots can't knit. And I've made an illustration to pro
ve it.
I have the disease...
I can't seem to help myself. No matter what I do, I just can't finish one project and begin another. I keep coming up with new projects, and instead of finishing my current one, I just put it aside and knit whatever I feel like next.
Currently, I have three scarves in different stages of completeness. They are actually three out of the six I had hoped to have finished by now. (We see now that it was a bit foolish to assume we could knit and work full-time and be a parent and actually finish a mass knitting project.)
And then this evening while visiting the in-laws, I got the urge to knit a shawl for my husband's sweet grandmother. I had an extra skein of Lion Brand Homespun in Tudor in my bag, and decided to begin a triangle shawl on my size 15s. The yarn had been earmarked for the next scarf, but what the hell; I wasn't going to actually get around to doing the scarves anyway. And the lady is 80-something, she deserves a nice shawl.
I'll post some pics of the work in progress as soon as I find my camera. (Side note: I can't find the 'condom hat', so no pics as of yet.)
Current projects: Three semi-finished scarves and one shawl.
Future projects: Argyle pullover for the Monkey, matching baby ponchos for the Monkey and the neighbor's kid (so that when she and the Monkey play together, they'll look freaking adorable!) I'd also like to knit a Mario-themed pullover for the Monkey. She's a geek in training, it will be perfect!
And maybe somewhere in there I'll get around to some legwarmers. The 80s are back, baby!
Currently, I have three scarves in different stages of completeness. They are actually three out of the six I had hoped to have finished by now. (We see now that it was a bit foolish to assume we could knit and work full-time and be a parent and actually finish a mass knitting project.)
And then this evening while visiting the in-laws, I got the urge to knit a shawl for my husband's sweet grandmother. I had an extra skein of Lion Brand Homespun in Tudor in my bag, and decided to begin a triangle shawl on my size 15s. The yarn had been earmarked for the next scarf, but what the hell; I wasn't going to actually get around to doing the scarves anyway. And the lady is 80-something, she deserves a nice shawl.
I'll post some pics of the work in progress as soon as I find my camera. (Side note: I can't find the 'condom hat', so no pics as of yet.)
Current projects: Three semi-finished scarves and one shawl.
Future projects: Argyle pullover for the Monkey, matching baby ponchos for the Monkey and the neighbor's kid (so that when she and the Monkey play together, they'll look freaking adorable!) I'd also like to knit a Mario-themed pullover for the Monkey. She's a geek in training, it will be perfect!
And maybe somewhere in there I'll get around to some legwarmers. The 80s are back, baby!
14 November 2008
Captain's Log: Stardate... oh, whatever
So, this is a blog, eh? Nice to see you. As you likely know, this is my first post.
This will be a blog about knitting, and assorted other topics as I see fit. We may delve deeper into my psyche as time goes on, but for now, I'll keep to knitting.
I learned to knit when I was about six. My mom gave me some dusky pink yarn and let me go to town on making myself a scarf. I remember her handing me the needles and instructing me in the art of the knit stitch. I remember being excited, and knitting as fast as my little stubby fingers would let me.
And then... disappointment. The stitches did not, in fact, produce a beautiful, even scarf. The thing was, well... ugly.
So, I moved on, and spent a few years not knitting. (What I was doing is none of your beeswax.) And then about six or seven years ago, I picked it up again.
My mother, beloved personal knitting instructor, handed me a set of four metal double-pointed needles (DPNs to those in the know). She cast on enough stitches to fit my giant head, and I went to town on my very first hat. The results are laughable.
Coming soon... a picture of my very first self-knitted hat, lovingly labeled "the condom hat".
This will be a blog about knitting, and assorted other topics as I see fit. We may delve deeper into my psyche as time goes on, but for now, I'll keep to knitting.
I learned to knit when I was about six. My mom gave me some dusky pink yarn and let me go to town on making myself a scarf. I remember her handing me the needles and instructing me in the art of the knit stitch. I remember being excited, and knitting as fast as my little stubby fingers would let me.
And then... disappointment. The stitches did not, in fact, produce a beautiful, even scarf. The thing was, well... ugly.
So, I moved on, and spent a few years not knitting. (What I was doing is none of your beeswax.) And then about six or seven years ago, I picked it up again.
My mother, beloved personal knitting instructor, handed me a set of four metal double-pointed needles (DPNs to those in the know). She cast on enough stitches to fit my giant head, and I went to town on my very first hat. The results are laughable.
Coming soon... a picture of my very first self-knitted hat, lovingly labeled "the condom hat".
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